Movement

So, sometime last week I was able to feel our baby move for the first time. I don't know exactly early when it was because it took me a little while to distinguish that the baby is actually what I was feeling and not you know, gas.

I can't tell you how amazing this feeling is to me. I admit, I was a little nervous about it. There have been a couple of times in the pregnancy that I have gotten a little freaked out by the fact that my body is growing a human being inside of it. When you stop to think about it, I mean REALLY think about it, it IS a little freaky, right? These feelings usually only last a few minutes and then I go back to being ecstatic about what is to come. So, for that reason, because I wasn't sure what to expect in feeling the baby move, I was slightly nervous about it.

Now, almost a week and a half later I find myself wanting to feel it ALL the time. I love it. It absolutely amazes me that I am actually feeling our child MOVE. It's hands, feet, arms, legs - it has them all!

I had my first dream last night about the baby. Some may think this is weird, but I most certainly do not after all of the crazy dreams that I have been experiencing lately.
I am not experiencing movement enough to feel it while I am sleeping, but I almost wonder if that is what triggered the dream subconsciously. I was laying on the couch (I think my parents old love seat, actually) and all of the sudden I was having the baby. There was no one else around me and it was the most calm, beautiful thing ever. I felt no pain and it was over in seconds (no, I am not naive ,I know that this was just a dream and the reality will likely be much, much different). Almost like a cat does when they deliver kittens, there was a sac around it that I had to wipe off, then deliver the placenta (all of which I just placed on the floor) and then, I just laid there with the most beautiful baby in the entire world laying on my chest as we stared at each other.

Then the dream got really weird. I had no clothes for it and I knew I had to get it to the hospital to be checked out, but I also had no car, so I had to walk. It was 90+ degrees and the sun was beating down (which wasn't so weird, considering the weather yesterday). The baby was getting sunburned and I was freaking. All the while, however, the baby remained in my arms, calm as can be just looking up at me the whole time.

Now that I write it all out, I wonder if that last part was just a little bit of anxiety about becoming a parent and the responsibility that comes with it. But that baby had the utmost trust in me the whole time. It was so content with me. I will take it as a sign that no matter what the circumstance, we will know what to do. We will figure it out.

We are headed to VT for the long weekend to visit family and friends. The weather is supposed to be nice and there is nothing better than VT in the summer. I am hoping that it will be a little distraction from the anticipation building up for Tuesday's doctor appointment and anatomy scan. We will (hopefully) get to find out the sex of the baby at this appointment and I am SO excited to start planning the nursery and picking up little things here and there.

We also might be faced with trying to choose (or should I say agree on) a name should it be a boy. We have decided on a girls name, but for some reason, we can't agree on a boy's name. J is convinced that this baby is a girl and he has said that from the beginning. Maybe it's a sign that he is right. Who knows. Who cares. It is our little miracle and that is all that matters :-)

Photo from 17 weeks