20 down, 20 to go!

Total Weight Gain: 17 lbs.

Symptoms: Still feeling good for the most part. It was really humid this past weekend and we don't have central air in the house, so I had to take lots of rests from housework with ice water and the fan. It seemed to wipe me out pretty quick and cause me to get overheated more than normal.

Stretch Marks: None. Fingers crossed.

Sleep: Sleep is beginning to get a little harder. Last night was a doozy. We got a new bed so we switched the bedroom around and now I am in front of the window fan and couldn't make up my mind if I was too cold or not. In addition, I am tossing and turning trying to get as comfortable as possible without laying on my stomach or back.

Best Moment Last Week: Finding out that we are having a baby BOY!!

Movement: This little boy loves to move. The movements started around week 18 and were pretty consistent by the end of that week. He moves in the morning on my way in to work and when I get to my desk, in the afternoon around snack time and then again around dinner time. I have a feeling that this kid will love to eat :-)

Food Cravings: Still really haven't had any strong cravings. Which is strange considering the 17 lbs that I have packed on. I am trying hard to make good, healthy food choices and not overeat.

What I Miss: Good nights sleep on the belly, nasty processed deli meat, Zumba and beer.

What am I looking forward to: deciding on nursery furniture and getting the projects completed around the house so that we can focus on putting the nursery together.

Milestones: Half-way there! We also went to BB-r-us and finished out registry over the weekend. That was a relief.

How is Daddy? Daddy is doing great. Being very helpful with all of the projects around the house and I think growing more and more excited knowing that he will be having a son!

20 Week belly shot (this angle makes me look huge!) I don't think it really looks this big when I am clothed :-)


How far along: 20 Weeks

Frogs and Snails and Puppy Dog's Tails

That's what little BOYS are made of! :-)

By the way, why is it that boys are made of gross objects and little girls are made with "sugar and spice and everything nice"? I beg to differ.

We are so thrilled to be having a baby boy! I had my reasons why I wanted a boy and reasons why I wanted a girl. Will I miss the cute little frilly dresses and adorable little bonnets? Probably, but I have BFF's baby girl for that! In addition, I am so excited to be giving J a son. He is going to make the best father ever and I just know that this little boy will look up to him so much.

We went to the ultra sound appointment in East Greenwich at 1:00, which is when we found out that it was a boy. Then we had an appointment with the doctor in Providence at 4:00. While we were at the ultrasound, the tech noticed that my placenta is laying pretty low. Apparently, it is within 1.6 mm (or is it cm, I can't remember) of the cervix. She said that the doctor will likely have us come back in about 4 weeks or so for another ultrasound to make sure that it is correcting itself.

Well, when we got to the doctors office, of course they didn't have the results (because it must be too difficult to fax from one office to another) so I had to explain to the doctor what the tech said regarding the placenta. I got NO information from the doc regarding this other than "Ok, we will just give you another ultrasound at 28 weeks." I was trying to pry any information I could from her about what it means, what are the risks, should I be avoiding lifting, walking, etc.? I got NOTHING. I also wasn't able to get any indication of the results of our NT scan and series of blood tests (which I had to literally chase the doctor down the hall after she spent no longer than 3 minutes in the office with us to ask about). Apparently two weeks isn't long enough to get results back from the third blood test and no one will contact us with these results unless they aren't good.

SO, all of this being said - we are transferring OB's. I just have to fill out and sign the release form, fax that to the office and call the insurance company to give them a heads up. Hopefully they will send my records over to the new office with no delay.

I am already feeling better about making this change. The woman on the phone at the new office was so nice and the practice is much smaller. I will actually get to see the same doctor each time that I go in and that will most likely be the doc that will deliver us. In addition, I will be delivering at a hospital closer to home that I think will be able to give us more personalized care and just be a better fit for us overall. I am tired of just being considered a number at the baby factory.

Ok, enough of that, my blood starts to boil just thinking about it.

In other news, we have started to register for things and now that we know to expect a little boy - we bought a little outfit last night for him.


Baby Gap

Baby Gap

The shorts are actually little pants, they didn't have a photo of them online.

Without further adieu, here are the pics from yesterday, including the money shots!

Profile facing up and profile with face buried toward back.

Face straight on and another profile shot

Money shot and a little wave

Another Skeletor shot and profile

The goods.

Movement

So, sometime last week I was able to feel our baby move for the first time. I don't know exactly early when it was because it took me a little while to distinguish that the baby is actually what I was feeling and not you know, gas.

I can't tell you how amazing this feeling is to me. I admit, I was a little nervous about it. There have been a couple of times in the pregnancy that I have gotten a little freaked out by the fact that my body is growing a human being inside of it. When you stop to think about it, I mean REALLY think about it, it IS a little freaky, right? These feelings usually only last a few minutes and then I go back to being ecstatic about what is to come. So, for that reason, because I wasn't sure what to expect in feeling the baby move, I was slightly nervous about it.

Now, almost a week and a half later I find myself wanting to feel it ALL the time. I love it. It absolutely amazes me that I am actually feeling our child MOVE. It's hands, feet, arms, legs - it has them all!

I had my first dream last night about the baby. Some may think this is weird, but I most certainly do not after all of the crazy dreams that I have been experiencing lately.
I am not experiencing movement enough to feel it while I am sleeping, but I almost wonder if that is what triggered the dream subconsciously. I was laying on the couch (I think my parents old love seat, actually) and all of the sudden I was having the baby. There was no one else around me and it was the most calm, beautiful thing ever. I felt no pain and it was over in seconds (no, I am not naive ,I know that this was just a dream and the reality will likely be much, much different). Almost like a cat does when they deliver kittens, there was a sac around it that I had to wipe off, then deliver the placenta (all of which I just placed on the floor) and then, I just laid there with the most beautiful baby in the entire world laying on my chest as we stared at each other.

Then the dream got really weird. I had no clothes for it and I knew I had to get it to the hospital to be checked out, but I also had no car, so I had to walk. It was 90+ degrees and the sun was beating down (which wasn't so weird, considering the weather yesterday). The baby was getting sunburned and I was freaking. All the while, however, the baby remained in my arms, calm as can be just looking up at me the whole time.

Now that I write it all out, I wonder if that last part was just a little bit of anxiety about becoming a parent and the responsibility that comes with it. But that baby had the utmost trust in me the whole time. It was so content with me. I will take it as a sign that no matter what the circumstance, we will know what to do. We will figure it out.

We are headed to VT for the long weekend to visit family and friends. The weather is supposed to be nice and there is nothing better than VT in the summer. I am hoping that it will be a little distraction from the anticipation building up for Tuesday's doctor appointment and anatomy scan. We will (hopefully) get to find out the sex of the baby at this appointment and I am SO excited to start planning the nursery and picking up little things here and there.

We also might be faced with trying to choose (or should I say agree on) a name should it be a boy. We have decided on a girls name, but for some reason, we can't agree on a boy's name. J is convinced that this baby is a girl and he has said that from the beginning. Maybe it's a sign that he is right. Who knows. Who cares. It is our little miracle and that is all that matters :-)

Photo from 17 weeks

16 Weeks and feelin fine!

I stole this quiz from Em over at A hope and a wish for a gift from a petri dish. I think it is a great way to document milestone weeks. So, don't mind if I do :-)

How far along: 16 Weeks

Total Weight Gain: 12 lbs.

Symptoms: I feel great right now. The boobs are still pretty sore and continue to grow (I am convinced that they are determined to conquer the universe). From time to time I have some fatigue and my belly is definitely growing (finally!). All in all, I am enjoying the pregnancy much more than the first tri.

Stretch Marks: None. Fingers crossed.

Sleep: I am a great sleeper. The only time that my sleep is affected in the least bit so far is getting up to pee about two hours before my alarm goes off. If I wait too long, it hurts and I start dreaming about getting up to go pee. SUCH relief when I finally build the energy up enough for the 10 foot walk to the bathroom :-)

Best Moment Last Week: Getting the heartbeat doppler in the mail. The sound of that heartbeat is the best sound in the entire world.

Movement: I have been feeling flutters here and there that I like to think are the baby. Nothing consistent and I am sure it wont be for a good month or so.

Food Cravings: I haven't had any of those crazy cravings where I just HAD to have something right at that moment. There have been a few times that out of no where I have thought "that would be really good right now" and then pick it up the store the next time I am there. Over the past few weeks those have consisted of Falafel, Olives, Pad Thai and mexican food in general.

What I Miss: Not being able to ride my bike. When the weather is really nice, that is all I want to do. That and a nice glass of wine or ice cold beer on a warm, sunny day.

What am I looking forward to: Anatomy scan on June 1st. We WILL (hopefully) be finding out the sex. Primarily because I can't wait to plan the nursery.

Milestones: Under 200 days to go!

How is Daddy? Great! He is just as much in awe of the heartbeat as I am when we use the doppler and has been non-stop researching for the safest, most recommended baby products on the market :-)

15 weeks and Counting

172 days left. 108 days so far. Wow.

We had our monthly check up on Tuesday. It was pretty uneventful. We finally got to go to the office closer to where we live rather than travel up to Providence and it was nice. The staff, nurse and doctor were much nicer than the main office and I definitely felt more comfortable there.

The nurse took my blood pressure - 110/62. Good.

The doctor listened to baby's heartbeat - 159. Excellent.

They weighed me - Up 12 lbs. Ugh.

Of course, with this weigh in, the big giant block was moved over to the next set of 50 lbs and made me gasp. However, I have to keep reminding myself that I STILL weigh 11 lbs less than when I started my weight loss journey in 2007. I do have to admit that, while I know the gain is for the best cause ever, I am having a little bit of a hard time with it. I have worked really, really hard over the past three years to maintain most of my loss and to see it coming back so quickly is tough.

The doctor wasn't in the least bit concerned. She said that the gain was normal and I should be looking for about 1 lb per week from here on in. Yes, I have done the math and know exactly what that number is. Will I fixate on it a bit? Probably. Will I make myself be hungry at all through the remainder of this pregnancy or avoid a delicious ice cream desert after dinner? Absolutely not. So in the end - what will be, will be.

Enough about that.

I broke down and bought a doppler. I love it. We have had absolutely no problem finding the babies strong heartbeat right away each time we have used it. This is probably because my placenta is apparently on the back side of my uterus, so I don't have to fight it to find the babe.

I am finding that just knowing that it is there and I can listen whenever I want has calmed my fears a bit. Kind of like when you have anxiety when flying, so you put an ativan in your pocket and just knowing that it is there is comfort enough to not need it, you know?

Our anatomy scan (the day that we hope to find out the gender) is scheduled for June 1st. I can't wait. I am sure that the next 3 1/2 weeks will go by very, very slowly in anticipation of this appointment. People ask me all the time if we are going to find out what we are having and I respond "absolutely" and I don't think that it is because I am too impatient to wait the 9 months, either. I am thrilled to death to be having EITHER. I am just more of a planner and I like for things to be organized and ready to go. As the time nears, I am sure that will mean that all of the clothes will be washed and hanging in the closet and the nursery will be decorated exactly how we want it, etc. I guess it will just make me feel more prepared.

I have been feeling great lately, with the exception of some fatigue here and there, but it is a million times better than the first trimester, that is for sure. I am really looking forward to the weekend. Mom and Dad will be visiting through the weekend and we will be walking in the 5th annual 12,402 Steps to Cure Sarcoma Walk for the Jennifer Hunter Yates Sarcoma Foundation.

This foundation is very near and dear to our hearts, as it directly benefits the hospital, doctors and nurses that saved J's life. Every year, we line up at the track in Hudson, MA and listen to J's doctor speak about the new and exciting treatment options that have been discovered over the past year, forums and conferences that he has been able to travel to and learn about these new trials (thanks to dollars raised by this foundation), and I could go on.

All of the survivors wear gold shirts and stand at the front of the line as the ribbon is cut and we start on our walk of 12,402 steps,which represent the number of days that Jennifer Hunter Yates lived her life to the fullest before sadly succumbing to the disease at 33 years old in 2004.

It is a magical sight to see the survivors in their Gold and among them (the most magical sight of all) my Husband.

We made it.

As of tomorrow, we have officially made it to the second trimester. I am pretty much still in disbelief that this is actually happening.

I keep thinking that every hurdle that we pass might make it a little more real, but it just doesn't seem to be the case.

We just made the "announcement" to many of our friends that we don't talk to/see on a regular basis and while their excitement and congratulations make me smile, I can't help but keep feeling like a fraud. My heart skipped a beat when I sent out the email, like I was jumping the gun or was not telling the truth. Telling people has (by far) not been my favorite part of this to date. I feel so awkward and in a way it makes me feel exposed. However, I wanted to get it over with. We probably could have waited a little longer, since I am not really showing yet - but why? We made it to the second trimester. That is what people wait for, right?

Anyway, I am feeling good. The ms hasn't completely left yet. It moved to nights just before and after dinner. It isn't nearly as bad as it was in the beginning, but it is definitely still lingering. I am hoping that it will make it's way out the door soon.

We had the NT scan on Thursday. Unfortunately, J couldn't make it because he had to attend training out of state. Boy did he miss out. The u/s tech was really nice and left the doppler on my abdomen for no less than 1/2 hour. She got all of her measurements out of the way right off the bat. The measurement was a 2.1, with a 3 or more being a sign of a positive for Down's, so it looks like our chances are good that the baby will not be at risk. However, we have to wait for two sets of blood test results to come back, the second round of which I will not have done until between 14 and 16 weeks. So, it will be a little while until we have the results.

After that was out of the way, she did a complete anatomy scan which showed that the babys brain is developing properly, has two arms, two legs, 10 fingers, 10 toes, all of the internal parts are in the right place, etc. It is still too early to tell the sex. They say 16 weeks is when you can tell, but I am not sure that we will have another scan until 20 weeks. Our next appointment is on May 5th, so we will find out then.

The tech proceeded to print out numerous pictures of the babe for us, half of which were 4D and oh so cool! She left the 4D up on the screen for a minute or two while the baby was dancing and it was the coolest thing I have ever seen.

Without further adieu, here's the bean lookin like a baby!

Thirty, Flirty & Thriving

That is what was on the banner that my lovely co-workers placed on the wall in the conference room yesterday at 3:00 when we celebrated with cake and candles. Oh! and how could I forget the beautiful jeweled crown with the big 3-0 glued to it :-)

I haven't spent a whole lot of time thinking about turning 30. I guess you can say that my mind has been full enough with other preoccupations that there has been no room for that 3-0 to creep in and haunt me.

Honestly, I could never, ever imagine turning 30 when, as a teenager, I did have time to sit and think about the future and getting older. In some ways I thought maybe this meant that I never WOULD turn 30. But then, I never thought about the alternative either.

Alas, here I am. This past weekend, J decided to once again remind me that I would be turning into an old "geezer" in just a couple of days. For as many times as he has said this to myself and his other "geezer" friends - he has always said that he is going to embrace turning 30. That he cannot wait. (J will become a geezer on August 31st this year). I have always wondered why exactly he was so excited to turn 30. In my mind, I had interpreted this as his yearning to be accepted as an adult. Not viewed as a child by his peers, and old enough to be considered "wise". He has never said this, so I don't know where that came from - just my take on his reasoning.

After all there has to be SOME reason why someone would look forward to turning 30. Right?!

Well, I asked him the question yet again this past weekend and I finally got an answer that I am happy with. An answer that took no more than a few words and not another word out of my mouth in response. One that made me decide to celebrate turning 30 vs. wallowing in getting older.

When I asked "why" one more time, I received this simple, powerful response: "Because it means that I am still alive."

And you know what else will be celebrated in the 30th year of our lives? His 5 year mark. The mark that means that he beat his cancer and can finally be considered CANCER FREE and not "in remission".

This, my friends is the best reason of all to turn 30.

It will be the best year of our lives.