Cranky Bug

I have been bit by the cranky bug today. I don't believe that it is for one particular reason, just woke up, got dressed, got in the car and no one on the road knew how to drive (not to say that isn't a regular occurrence in this state). Got to work and went to put lotion on my hands and wound up wearing a huge streak of it, all down the front of me. So, needless to say - these occurrences have not helped said crankiness.

Perhaps it is stemming from all of the recent news that I have received about loved ones. People who were like parents to me growing up. Thank God that both my biological mother and father are fine and seem to be in good health, but it seems that so many of their friends, who were a part of our family for so long, are falling apart or battling some horrendous diseases.

The couple who were my parents best friends while my sister and I were growing up. Separated for years now but never remarried. One overweight with now major heart problems, likely stemming from years of abuse to his body - sitting in the hospital from yet another heart attack. His ex wife a floor below him from a bleeding ulcer, likely stemming from a variety of things including abuse to her body and children that are proving to be extremely difficult to raise causing extreme stress.

The friend of my parents, who I remember always playing his guitar and signing wonderful songs as we all sat around the bonfire in my parents back-yard, struggling through potent chemo treatments for lung cancer. In a daze from all of the drugs with his kidneys yearning to be flushed with fluid that he cannot stomach.

The woman who babysat my sister and I from the time that our mom went back to work after we were born until we were well into our teens when we would then help her to take care of not only her daycare children, but also her 6 adopted children - every single one of them with disabilities. All of them born into horrible situations from which she rescued them from and gave them a loving home to grow and prosper in. How does it make sense that after leading such a selfless life, that she has been struggling with cancer since 2006? That started in her kidneys and has now spread into her lungs. Being put through treatment after treatment that continues to fail. Still, throughout all of this - she manages to continue to care for her disabled children and knit hundreds of hats and scarves for children who need them over the holidays. How is this fair?

I have been struggling a lot lately with life and all of it's unfairness. Yes, I am thankful for what I have and know that my life could be much worse. But why are these good people having to suffer? How is it fair that after surviving cancer, my husband's ability to have children was also taken from him?

I know that life isn't fair, but why does it treat some undeserving people so wonderfully and then treat extremely deserving, selfless people horribly? It just doesn't make any sense.