Operation Supression - Successful

My ambition with this blog went out the door upon learning of a dear friends tragic death on the 10th. To say that the past week and half sucked would be a complete understatement. This is a person that had been many things to me throughout my life and it surely will not be the same without him. I have allowed myself to grieve, to feel the sharp pain of this loss. If I had not, I don't think that I would be in the state of mind that I am right now. I am OK. He has once again taught me a lesson about life - just how precious it is, that it can be gone in an instant and to cherish every moment. So that is my intention and so far, I think I am doing a pretty damn good job at it.

I was never happier to come home and fall into the arms of my wonderful, loving husband who has offered me such great support through this. He truly is my soul-mate. So many never have the opportunity to even meet their soul-mate, let alone marry them :-)

I have three little furkids that ever so happily greeted my upon my return home and that purr so loud sometimes it makes J and I smile ear to ear.

I have a wonderful support system of friends and family that I love dearly and know that they love me.

It's pretty crazy how we get so caught up in the day-to-day that we forget to take the time to recognize these things that make us happy and let those that we love know just how much we love them. I pledge to myself to work harder on this. Not to be too hard on myself if I suddenly realize that I am back in the day-to-day routine and need to bring myself back to the ground, but I will be proud of myself for just realizing it.

This experience, this heart-wrenching pain of losing someone that you love, has also helped me to put some things into perspective regarding this IF battle. J and I both want children - we want them badly and are going to great depths to have them. But rather than the previously unimaginable feeling of getting that negative test after this cycle that I have been so incredibly scared of - I find that my fear has subsided and I am left with the feeling of amazing hope. It will happen for us, I just know that it will.

Now, onto the details of the cycle. I began my pill on December 20th and started my Lupron injections on January 7th. I have consistently injected myself with 10IU of Lupron every day for the past 14 days. I had my baseline blood work and ultrasound this morning. Pretty uneventful, which is what I believe the Lupron is supposed to inhibit. Multiple follicles under 12, etc., etc.

The nurse called this afternoon to let me know that I am good to start on the Follistim 225IU as of Friday evening. Friday morning, I will cut the Lupron back to 5IU and will continue to inject both until they tell me otherwise. My first b/w & u/s will be on Tuesday the 26th - fingers crossed for numerous growing follies!
The tentative retrieval date is February 2nd.

It almost doesn't seem real - going through all of this after waiting 6 months to start and being frustrated because there was nothing that we could do at that moment. I wish I would have enjoyed life a little more while I was sitting, waiting. I will make up for that.